Magnificent Obsession

It’s late. And I must awaken early tomorrow morning. Fold my clothes, straighten my desk, brush my teeth…kick the cat. Carefully I fold back the covers on my newly fixed bed and ease my tired body down between the sheets. Breathe in…and exhale. I stretch my hand towards the lamp, intent on sleeping as soon as possible. Today was a good day – I am content and I have no complaints. Darkness in 4…3…2…oops. Almost forgot to do my evening devotions again. The light must remain for just a few moments longer. What to read, what to read….no, don’t feel like a psalm…not the gospels, not the letters of Paul. Isaiah 53. Isaiah 53? That’s a random thought – is God telling me to read that? No, that cannot be – my mind just haphazardly picked a book and a random chapter number. But, okay God, I will grant You the benefit of the doubt and read that passage as if You specifically desire me to focus on that tonight. Isaiah…Isaiah…32…47…52…fifty-three:

Who has believed our message? To whom will the LORD reveal his saving power? My servant grew up in the LORD's presence like a tender green shoot, sprouting from a root in dry and sterile ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. He was despised and rejected--a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we did not care.

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God for his own sins! But he was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped, and we were healed! All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the guilt and sins of us all.

He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. From prison and trial they led him away to his death. But who among the people realized that he was dying for their sins--that he was suffering their punishment? He had done no wrong, and he never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man's grave.

But it was the LORD's good plan to crush him and fill him with grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs. He will enjoy a long life, and the LORD's plan will prosper in his hands. When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of what he has experienced, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. I will give him the honors of one who is mighty and great, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among those who were sinners. He bore the sins of many and interceded for sinners.

Enter stage left: wave of guilt and shame. Enter stage right: fresh realization of God’s Love – even when I esteem Him not. My day had gone by without mentioning His name – I was guilty of ignoring Him, passing Him by, of pushing Him to the back of my mind until it was convenient for me to ponder great truths about Him in my specifically set aside devotional time. A time that was often rushed and an afterthought – not the highlight, the climax , the nucleus or the foundation of my day. I was trying to live by “bread alone” – not depending on “every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4) to sustain me.

My past day did not explicitly point to this Christ, Man of Sorrows. I had not been radically different for the sake of the Cross. Its power had not noticeably been changing me. I look at the past 24 hours and am saddened to find that they are devoid of revolutionary difference, of life-changing passion, of contagious excitement filling my every step.

I once again stretch my arm towards the lamp, turn the switch and roll over. This time, my eyes brimming with tears and my heart aching with grief, a desperate plea arises from my soul:

Jesus, may my life revolve around You – let everything be affected by my intimate heart relationship with You. May everything I do obviously point to You – consume my thoughts, my words, my actions. May I be expectant each day, each moment. May I recognize how You are working in each minute. You came so that I may have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10). Let me not live half-heartedly. Let me not waste my life – sleeping it away and not living out fully what You mean my life to be. I desire to be wholly devoted to You. Lord Jesus Christ, be my Magnificent Obsession.